Hi,
I haven’t yet told my three-year old any of those classic fairy tales which end with “happily ever after”. In spite of this, our stories which feature the little squeaky mouse or Ellie the elephant or Monu the monkey start with “once upon a time” and end with “happily ever after”.
It’s a childhood dream that we all want to hold on to. It may have different kinds of love, different people, different circumstances but yes, we want to hold on to our happily ever afters and all throughout our lives.
Why do people tell us their love stories?
It is because it takes them back in the memory lanes. To feel the same rush of emotions and the need to share this wonderful experience with another. To recall and treasure their happy moments. Happy is an emotion we associate with a particular memory, an incident or a person.
And, Why do all the fairy tales stop with that spectacular kiss and the words, “they lived happily ever after”?
When we get married, we believe it is a forever thing. It’s a mixture of happiness, excitement, responsibility and fear. What lies beyond marriage? An exciting question in itself.
There are a bunch of parameters required for a sustained happy marriage. These are also the parameters that we mostly judge each other on 🙂
In my view, they are:
Understanding
Tolerance
Communication
Defining quality time
Division of labor
Caring
Earnings
Responsibility
Patience
Loyalty
Acceptance
Difference of opinion
Compatibility on different levels
Attitude: Personal and towards the relationship (Most important)
Notice that I do not mention love. For, Love is a master of disguises.
It may hide itself in one of the above points or it may lie beyond these.
I offer you no explanation to the above points because, each of us has a perspective of our own on each of the words above.
Have you thought on each of these points? Go ahead. May be you will be surprised 🙂
Any sustained marriage is not destined but, the fruit of constant efforts, of two individuals who offer different things in the relationship.
If you are about to be married and about to enter this world of happily ever after, enjoy it to the fullest.
Especially, the honeymoon and the first year.
From the second year, you will always find the year before a little better 🙂
And once the generation next makes its appearance, you will need prayers and good wishes. Now, re-read the above points and do you see those underlined? Multiply them over and over to get ready for the most thrilling roller coaster of your life.
Oops!, I forgot to tell you. It’s only till they grow up. Then you go back to feeling like you did in the second year of marriage 🙂
Don’t worry. You are going to make it :).
Remember…
Hold on to your dream.
Hold on to your happily ever after and never, never, never let go.
This post is written as a response to open-to-all prompt for the Project 365 program at We Post Daily.
Smile away,
Poornima
PS: Photo credit: Morguefile and images shared on social media.
Nice post, I liked how you managed to fairly simply explain your recipe for everlasting happiness in marriage with extremely practical tips. For sure, a ‘happily ever after’ ending awaits you and your spouse 😀
Thanks for the good wishes Jairam. I MUST make him read this 🙂 He would definitely agree to some points – especially the one about the first year being great 😉
“Any sustained marriage is not destined but, the fruit of constant efforts, of two individuals who offer different things in the relationship.”
That is so true. Loved your take on the prompt. Well expressed. 🙂
That was one of my favorite sentences too 🙂 Thank you Rekha for reading and leaving a lovely comment for me :).
Outstanding take on the prompt Poornima. Yes, the so called love cab only take us so far. A happy marriage is a result of constant work. Somedays we have to work a bit harder. Somedays, abit less. Lovely way to kick off the proceedings at Project 365. Kudos
Thank you for all the appreciation Sid. It makes my day brighter.
Very thoughtfully written Poornima, hard to believe you are dead beat. If you can write this well when you are down, I wonder what you can achieve when you are upbeat!!!
Truly well written and inspiring 🙂
Thanks Gauri. OHHH I really need a holiday, a weekend break, anything…!! Thanks dear for your time and your lovely comments. You are really a dear.
The best most striking thing about your post is the questions you direct at us. Builds an instant connect, and makes your reader think/examine their own lives, even as she/he reads about your thought. The post is beautiful both in it’s simplicity of creation and the thoughts that it conveys.
“From the second year, you will always find the year before a little better ” – made me smile and say, Oh Yes! 😀
Thanks Sakshi. The answers are really different for each set of individuals 🙂 and the statement you mention is so true. When we were just married and people kept telling me this, I did not believe it! Ignorance was really bliss 🙂
There was a lot of common sense wisdom in this one Poornima. So have you learned to eat pudding yet?
Thanks a ton Dagny for reading in. Ha ha Not yet but, I am learning. Pudding is not my favorite. umm as yet! 🙂
That was fabulous! Very wise and filled with common sense 🙂
Totally agree with you..
Thank you so much Pixie for reading in and leaving a comment for me. Welcome to my space 🙂
Lovely read.. I think there are some real life happily ever after stories.. very rare, one in a million or so, But yes, there are. . Most of the stories though, apart from the obvious moral lessons they try to provide, are there to give us hope..Hope that we may be one of those million..
As for love, it is a fickle feeling.. we must cherish it while it lasts
Yes Hrishi, Thanks for reading in. Yes, cherish it while it lasts and who knows… It may last and last and last.. Never , never , never let go of that dream… It’s not necessary that we find love only in our partner. It could be our child, our pets, our passions, our interests and better still, ourselves. Good luck.
I laughed at this line: “From the second year, you will always find the year before a little better”!! Depends you know! I actually find that I’m more comfortable now with The Husband than I was in my first few years of marriage!! I guess understanding increases, provided both sides make the effort to understand each other!
Yes, sometime we mature (umm. Read as get older and wiser) in each other’s company. Takes two to tango though 🙂
This was a fabulous post, Poornima. Real gems of wisdom there and every word I agree with. How you describe each year of marriage and then once the kids enter the picture. We need posts like this and real world understanding of love and relationships and not the mush that gets paraded as the reality of love. Kudos for a spectacular post!
Thank you for such a heartfelt, lovely comment Rachna. I am just so happy to get a comment like this from you 🙂
oh beautifully written! This could have been so apt for Valentines day!
Thank you Mousume 🙂 Welcome to my space 🙂
Lovely post, Poornima. A feel good and light heart cute post on a Friday:)
Cheerz
Thanks Vishal… 🙂
Beautiful post Poornima!
Thanks Swapna