Dear Daddies,

This one is for you to think over.

My only TV watch lately are the cartoons I watch with Aruja. They are mostly from you tube or pre-recorded. Two of her favorite cartoons that Aruja watches depict a family of foursome. The concept of foursome family may have changed over the years but, the concept of FAMILY is very valuable to a child. It brings about feelings of security, togetherness, happiness, being a unit in sadness & sickness, fun times and learning moments.

Pic courtesy: http://www.morguefile.com

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Our story:
Daddy was thrilled to have a daughter. He had once told me he was terrified of carrying very tiny babies. They were just so precious.
Imagine his luck when the nurse placed our daughter first in daddy’s hands. I can only imagine that joy, as I was on the hospital bed for quite a few minutes (which seemed like hours) before the baby was brought to me. Since that day, She has been Dad’s “bittoo”.
There is no doubt that both of them love and adore each other.
Time and again Aruja makes it a point to include the missing person from our unit of three. For example, if we are having a chocolate, she will ask if there is enough to be kept for dad. If Dad and she are sleeping, she will ensure that daddy does not usurp my place or my pillow. 🙂 She is very happy to show the family photographs and point out their members to anyone who visits our home. Every time she gets into the mood to have long talks on her play phone, she is calling one or the other family or Daddy and telling them how much she misses them and that they should come quickly to her home.

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All this makes me very happy but, at the same time it set me thinking. The two cartoons I was talking about “Pingu” and “Peppa pig”. Both of them have mamma, daddy, two siblings and grandparents and many other friends. Whenever I see the cartoons with her, they entire family unit is involved. I am particularly mentioning dads here.

In pingu, they show dad coming from his work and they are all together having dinner. It shows how dad helps pingu build some toys or takes him trekking or he is playing shadow play or taking part in an ice sculpture contest. In Peppa pig, they show how daddy & the kids put up a picture, cook pancakes, go swimming, do gardening, how they surprise mom on her birthday, how daddy pig jumps up and down in the muddy puddles with the kids.
May be these cartoons define to my child how a family must be. Laughing, sharing and enjoying their everyday. And her dad being a part of all the fun play? May be she is really in love with this onscreen daddy also?

Pic courtesy: http://www.morguefile.com

Daddies, I know that you have a tremendous responsibility in today’s lives with travelling jobs, stressfull office work, meetings and commitments, ever increasing inflation but, remember that time when you held your own “bittoo” for the first time? Did you not think, you would spend all your time with her.

I know weekdays are often busy. You leave early and come late after a tired day. All you can manage is to “hear” about your child’s day.
This is not to stress you to squeeze hours from your daily schedule. This is to help you realise, she is growing up. Take part in her life, Whenever you do find time.

One weekday when you come home early, on weekends, on vacations, plan your activities. Probably when you were growing up, you had siblings, you had grandparents, you had close friends or neighbours but, in our nuclear families your contribution needs to be extended much more to complete the circle. You schedule your meetings in office. Schedule a well planned meeting with your child.

You can paint with her or play on the lawn, go to the park or for a sports she can play, dance on her favorite song, take her for a children’s play or take her to the orphanage to donate her toys. Dear darling daddies, all mommies are with you but sometimes an effort, a genuine effort on your part to spend quality time with your child can bond you as a family unit in so many wondrous ways.

Chalk out some activities which the kids can do daily with you and only YOU. It could mean feeding the birds or reading the newspaper or brushing her teeth or taking her to school. This is your exclusive bonding time with her.

The genuineness starts from the planning stage. All you need to think about is, “what will delight my girl?”. Do not go for easy, challenge yourself, the way you do on a professional front. You have to build your memories with her so that when she is older and you are OLD, you can smile on the crazy moments spent. When was the last crazy moment you spent with her? There, you remembered? Are you not smiling now?

She is growing up and will soon be a butterfly with wings.
Give her the strength to fly securely in love. In love with daddy.

Warm regards,

Poornima, a mom.