Hello there,

Are you Pregnant?

If you are, then the first thing we would like to do is wish you. So, Congratulations.

If you are planning a baby then we hope you will find our earlier post definitely helpful.

Many important points of consideration remain the same but our ways of thinking change once we conceive.

I had never before and never after, cared for myself so much!

The pregnancy glow is not a myth but, be prepared for those moments of morning sickness, the discomfort, the hormonal changes, the physical exhaustion. At the same time, be prepared to feel miraculous. Watching the tiny life growing inside you on an ultrasound can melt you and this is the only time you would be happy to receive a kick on your inside!

So, here is a list of the ten things you should consider, if you are pregnant.

1) Health

This point was also mentioned in our earlier post but, now it becomes your number one priority. By now, we hope you are already having a cool gynecologist with whom you are comfortable. If for some reason you don’t, then don’t hesitate to try another one because once you have achieved this comfort level with your doctor, following instructions becomes very easy. You trust the doctor. As simple as that!

Also ensure timely and correct checkups. Please get all tests done. I realized only after such tests that I had thyroid. I was immediately put under medication and today I am thankful that my daughter does not suffer from thyroid from birth.

Do as much as possible for your own comfort and use your time effectively. I was working for my entire term. Initially I used to go to the office but, after a few months, I was granted permission to work from home so, I utilized the evenings by going for a walk. This ensured that I maintained my activity level after eight hours of working on the laptop and also helped me socialize with other moms & pregnant ladies in our building.

2) Finance

Once again a similar point as before but, now this is no longer your priority. Ensure that your savings are in safe hands. Check out possibilities where your savings would multiply even when your earnings might go lower.

If you are a working lady or you have no help at home, then this is the time to ensure you spend to avoid stress. My travel to office was almost two to three hours daily to and fro. This is the time we engaged a driver to drive me comfortably to office. Also I discussed with the management and got the timings changed for myself. I used to go early to office and leave a little early too to avoid traffic congestion. In turn, I would work for a few hours at night.

This may not be the solution to your problems but, before you stress and strain yourself, check if there are ways you can find simple solutions on your own.

3) Knowledge

Our body undergoes so many phenomenal changes due to which you may experience severe discomfort or complete bed rest or sleepless nights. What better way to take your mind off all this but reading. Reading will increase your confidence level. Read about pregnancy to understand all the changes happening within you.

Also, it is important to arm yourself with basic information so that you could differentiate between right and wrong advice!

Some of the books, I would recommend are: Dr.Spock’s pregnancy guide, What to expect when you are expecting by Heidi Murkoff, Ayurvedic Garbha sanskaar by Balaji Tambe, Garbhasanskaar in Pregnancy by Dr. Geetanjali & Vikram Shah.

4) Therapy

Now, we do not mean going to a therapist. We mean, following simple steps to relax yourself, increase your level of confidence and ensure you are feeling great. For this, our last post did mention a book on Garbhasanskaar. I understand they actually have Garbhasanskaar classes though I had not attended any. Some mothers practice Yoga and meditation. Some spend time with other moms so that they can discuss the issues they face during pregnancy.

For me what worked was listening to music. I read somewhere that after the fourth month the fetus can actually hear his or her mother’s voice and sounds from outside. Hence, I started listening to music. I used to listen to one or two particular CD’s every day. One was Garbhasanskaar Tantra va Mantra by Snehlata Deshmukh and the other was an instrumental CD of old Hindi songs. Refer above photos.

So find out what works for you best and try to relax yourself.

5) Start making memories

Time flies, I tell you. Here, I was pregnant and now my princess is going to be four years old. How I wish I had started making memories earlier! So, what do me actually mean by start making memories? This is a special time for you. To savor it throughout your life, check out these simple ways to keep those memories fresh:

• Keep a log of special moments. Just some simple notes in a memory diary or in a digital format. You could also make a file maybe to physically store the first ultrasound?
• If you can spare the time, money and efforts, get a professional photo-shoot done with your baby bump & family. I really miss doing this!
• Save the special photos maybe one for each month and make a printed album later on.
• Take time out for your partner. These are special moments as parents to be.

I couldn’t resist sharing this photo here.

All my relatives made me feel special during my god bharai or baby shower. That’s me and my sisters.

6) Organize

It is very important to organize your home, office and your life. Generally, whenever we go on a leave in office, we ensure back-ups and hand over of pending matters. In the same way, it is important to find back-ups considering that you would not be playing an active role for at least a few weeks. Like we had mentioned earlier having a support system is like a boon. For this, create your own support systems now when you have the sanity and the time.

Check which family members could be your support system or if you could enlist professional help for some of the tasks.

I will share my experience here though you may find your situations are different from mine. I had started working from home so, I used to be alone at home till almost 10.00 pm. We had also shifted our home and at that time I didn’t know any neighbors or friends properly.  As my ninth month approached, I got a house help to come for eight hours a day. I trained her in all the basic tasks with regards to cleaning, dusting and maintaining the home our way. This really eased off a burden even after my delivery. Also, I requested my in laws to come and stay during the end of my ninth month. This was to ensure that in case the due date got preponed there was someone to take action.

7) Establish Comfort levels

It is very important that we understand our responsibility as a mother to be. It’s a big task to ensure we bring up not only a physically healthy child but, a mentally healthy child too. For this it is important to establish comfort levels. If you have any particular way of thinking, understand it better now.

I was not comfortable leaving my home for my delivery and yet, I could not do without the support of family. At the same time, I felt I had no right to keep them away from their life for my needs. In the end, we agreed that my in laws would stay for two weeks and my mom would stay for two weeks. This rotation continued for the initial months. It worked beautifully because each set of parents got the chance to spend time with the baby and also the essential break after two weeks.

When pregnant there were different people giving me different advises. I guess, you have experienced it by now that when you are pregnant anyone is entitled to advise you. This is the time to set your comfort level and be firm if it really bothers you. If you do not want to follow something say no and stay firm. Be reasonable but, do not accept any advise which strongly bothers you. Always discuss with your doctor. Use his help if required.

I used to have a bitter kadha (medicine) which my mom made me drink. I can still remember the taste. Yuck! Also, I don’t like to drink milk but, during my pregnancy phase, I drank milk with shatavari every day. I hated it but, this was acceptable to me because it was for my baby.

So once again, take charge and decide what is acceptable and what is not. This is one question which continues long after delivery. Sometimes you may get it right and sometimes you may get it wrong too. I used to hate making decisions because I didn’t want to go wrong. I realized much late that everyone goes wrong and it’s not just me.

If you have time, ponder on this and have fun with your daily log: How would you like to raise your child? What kind of changes will this new baby bring in your relationship with others? What values are important to you? Are you religious? Do you want your child to be the same? Are you going to be a strict mother? Would you love to bring up a reader? Would you have to learn new things to teach your child?

8) Discipline

By nature I am not disciplined. I regret it as always but, I thought I had time. Guess what? Close to four years of motherhood and I am still struggling. I have not been successful in this but, this is precisely why I am sharing this point here.

A child can learn many things much earlier than we actually think he or she can. For inculcating discipline, it is very important to be disciplined yourself. Establish Routines. These will be so beneficial later on. This is the time you can do it for yourself. Routines will change but the habit of routines won’t. 

9) Patience

Now, I know why Patience is called a virtue. Sadly, this is again a department I lack in but, I find solace in the fact that I have improved much beyond I would ever have if, I wasn’t a mother. I think it takes nine long months to deliver a baby simply because god wants us to develop this virtue.

During Pregnancy, there may be times when you lose your patience. It could be because of hormonal changes or because you are really feeling tired or discomfort. Do not stress over this. Share your feeling with your near and dear ones.

10) Happiness

This is the most important from the above. I always find this confusing. Now, Will I find happiness if I achieve my goals or will I achieve my goals if I am happy? It works both ways so my mantra is, identify what works for you best.

Your goals could be anything. They could be cooking a meal to perfection or finishing your office project in time or giving a homemade gift. If achieving these simple goals make you happy, so be it. Goals do not always have to be big or powerful.

I can tell you this, Happiness is contagious and with you, your baby, your family and your friends will also receive a part of your positive energy.

There are many ways to improve the positive energy around you. Here are few which come to my mind:

• Keep your surroundings clean.
• Always be around people who make you feel positive. Avoid those who cause you stress or belittle you.
• Enjoy a hobby.
• Designate tasks for yourself realistically and complete them.
• Feel the gratitude in your life and spread happiness, intentionally.

If you are a mom already, did this post take you back to some awesome memories? Do share with us.

Mamma-to-be, have you found this post helpful? Do let us know?

Once again, I wish you all the best for your wonderful life as a parent.

Be happy always.

Yours,

Poornima

PS: Photo credit: Morguefile